Why I Don't Eat Eggs

French Toast!  My all time FAVORITE breakfast and the all time fave breakfast of French Royals everywhere!

I can say this with complete confidence as I am the only French Royal that counts and this was my favorite breakfast. That was until I decided, not that long ago, that I'm not eating eggs anymore.  I started thinking, "Would I like to be forced to pop out babies right and left for production purposes, or any purpose for that matter?  No, I would not!", so why should chickens be forced to pop out eggs right and left?

Do you know there is an "egg popping quota"?  Do you know what they use to inspire chickens to meet their quota?  They use a giant, laminated, black and white, cardboard cut-out of Colonel Sanders (of KFC fame) with a wild, evil grin on his face on a tiny little body which they mount on wheels, with him wielding a humongous axe with a conversation bubble over his head that reads "Appetizer, appetizer, gonna have an APPETIZER!" .  Seeing something like that coming at me would certainly make me lay an egg or two as well!  Wouldn't you?

And where is PETA when all this is happening?  I'll tell you where they are - They're at Denny's enjoying a "Grand Slam" breakfast!  That's right!  By the time they finish their eggs, the terrorized chickens back at the farm are laying eggs at an incredible rate and Colonel Sanders goes back in the box having done his job for the day!

DISCLAIMER:  The egg producing inspiration scenario just mentioned is highly unsubstantiated and therefore probably not all that true.  I understand, in real life, they use a real axe with the blood of  low/non egg producing chickens dripping from it while playing the theme song from Jaws in the background!  (This too, is highly unsubstantiated and therefore probably not all that true either.).

Untrue or not, it makes for a good story!  LOL)                                                                                 (©2010 Raylene Deschenes)

What's Up With Watermelon?

Ever wonder what's up with watermelon? Well I have.

It's juicy. So what? All fruit is juicy. It's red. How much red water have YOU drank? It has a green rind. Water can have a green mold. That's 1 point that can be made in watermelon's favor. It has a solid consistency, where as water is a liquid. So I ask you: WHAT'S UP WITH WATERMELON and what kind of crack was the guy who named it on?!?

Better yet, why didn't Webster refuse to put "watermelon" in the dictionary because it didn't make sense? Was Webster on crack too? Where him and the guy who named watermelon in kahoots?  

These are questions I have gone over and over in my mind and I bet you have too! We may never know the answer to these questions, but you can bet, in the very near future, I will answer them anyway. Because I never let a question go unanswered if I can help it! I'm just that good! 
(©2010 RayleneDeschenes)

A Little Story For Your Grandchildren by Moi!

This was inspired by a Flair Button on Facebook I happened to download to my wall.
Posted on Facebook 061010rd

I want a Fairy Godmother. I want her to wave her wand around, or whack me with it, or what ever she has to do with it to make all my wishes come true. It doesn't have to be Fairy Godmother. Any Fairy will do as long as he/she has a wand to wave, or whack and ...grant wishes.

What was so special about Cinderella, anyway? Was she Royalty? I think not! The only reason she was missed in the Spring Skewering was because her evil stepmother had her locked up and out of reach. If it wasn't for that she would have been a Kabob, plain and simple!

And Prince Charming! I mean what's up with him? He was a mealy mouth guy who caved to pressure from his parents. A woos no less! Thinking with anything but the head on his shoulders, he went for the first thing that popped up (If you know what I mean). Go figure. 

So anyway......where was I? Oh yes! So GET WITH THE PROGRAM YOU WAND WIELDING FAIRIES! Before the only wish I'll have will be that Depends come in bulk!(©2010 RayleneDeschenes)