Showing posts with label old school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old school. Show all posts
Friday, December 11, 2015
SCHOOL ZONES
There are two school zones within a few blocks of each other on a street I drive almost every day. They are both elementary schools - one Christian school with a 25 mph speed limit and the other is a private school with a 15 mph speed limit.
My son: "Mom, you're going too slow. Speed up or you'll get a ticket."
Me: "This is a school zone and I'm going the required speed limit"
Son: "No, you're going too slow. You where going faster in the last school zone."
Me: "That was a Christian elementary school and the limit was 25 mph. This is a Private school and and the speed limit is 15 mph."
Son: "Why would they do that? Give them different speed limits if they're both elementary schools?"
Me (not being privy to how they set school zones): "The private school kids aren't as fast as the christian school kids so they have a slower speed limit.
Then me (because I just couldn't resist - and I tried, God help me, I tried!) "The Catholic schools don't have a speed limit at all because those kids are really fast. Those kids are super heroes."
My son just stared at me for what seemed like the longest time, then said: "Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me, mom, for the rest of the ride." He then put earphones in, cranked up the tunes he had stored on his phone and that was it until we got to our destination.
Well, I thought it was as good an excuse as any and I only have a couple of years left before their brains are fully developed and I won't be able to mess with their heads anymore. This is my one joy in life - right up there with wine and The Sims 2!
(©2015 RayleneDeschenes)
Saturday, January 9, 2010
WOMEN RULE THE WORLD!
There was an email that was being sent to women on Facebook recently that read:
"Some fun is going on.... just write the color of your bra in your status, nothing else.
Send this on to ONLY girls no men .... It will be neat to see if this will Spread the Wings of Cancer Awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a colour in their status... Haha!"
Well, men found out. Go figure.
After receiving numerous emails about the short period of time it took men to find out what the one word posts were about, who might have tipped them off (the wife), and why said person would do such a thing (the whole husband/wife camradery issue), I felt the need to respond:
LISTEN UP LADIES!
You all know, we rule the world in every way, shape and form. We let men think they do because it's good for testosterone levels and good testosterone levels mean nice, hunky, meaty guys that make us swoon. Swooning is a good thing! Look what it did for Scarlet O'hara in Gone With The Wind. Testosterone gives them the ability to hunt down dinner, and although we can hunt our own dinner AND fry it up in a pan, it's hard on our nails and we all know how much a good manicure costs these days!
Thanks to us, men are getting smarter. They are on to us. They are using their heads (the one on their neck) in more productive ways, getting intouch with their emotions, and have filled the internet with 'how to' sites on manipulating women into thinking we need them.
Why is this happening? Because, now that we have the ability to harvest sperm, we don't need them anymore. There is nothing a man can do that we can't do for ourselves. Their whole reason for being is now gone. They know their survival as a species will depend on them ruling the world, and they are going to great measures to make that happen.
Think about it. There are more 'cougars' (the Jackass of all terms) out there than ever before. Why do you think that is? The next generation of men are a little brighter than the last generation. They watched their mothers and absorbed what was going on around them. They know that we rule the word and have hooked on to "Old School" women to learn everything they can from her before she kicks the bucket, so that they will be one step closer to ruling the word themselves.
We need to buck-up, Ladies! We need to protect our sisterly secerets of World Domination!
This was a test, Ladies, from the powers that be, to see if we are strong enough to keep our grip on this world, and we failed miserably!
If one of us will betray the sisterhood on an issue of bra color and it's meaning, it's just a matter of time before someone will give up the secrets of womb dwelling and child birth! With that information in their hands, men will take over the world, ladies, and there will be nothing we will be able to do about it!
DO YOU REALY WANT THAT?
(©2010 RayleneDeschenes)
DISCLAIMER:
This reply is not meant to offend anyone. It is for entertainment only. I have been deleted for less, hence the reason for the disclaimer. LOL!
"Some fun is going on.... just write the color of your bra in your status, nothing else.
Send this on to ONLY girls no men .... It will be neat to see if this will Spread the Wings of Cancer Awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a colour in their status... Haha!"
Well, men found out. Go figure.
After receiving numerous emails about the short period of time it took men to find out what the one word posts were about, who might have tipped them off (the wife), and why said person would do such a thing (the whole husband/wife camradery issue), I felt the need to respond:
LISTEN UP LADIES!
You all know, we rule the world in every way, shape and form. We let men think they do because it's good for testosterone levels and good testosterone levels mean nice, hunky, meaty guys that make us swoon. Swooning is a good thing! Look what it did for Scarlet O'hara in Gone With The Wind. Testosterone gives them the ability to hunt down dinner, and although we can hunt our own dinner AND fry it up in a pan, it's hard on our nails and we all know how much a good manicure costs these days!
Thanks to us, men are getting smarter. They are on to us. They are using their heads (the one on their neck) in more productive ways, getting intouch with their emotions, and have filled the internet with 'how to' sites on manipulating women into thinking we need them.
Why is this happening? Because, now that we have the ability to harvest sperm, we don't need them anymore. There is nothing a man can do that we can't do for ourselves. Their whole reason for being is now gone. They know their survival as a species will depend on them ruling the world, and they are going to great measures to make that happen.
Think about it. There are more 'cougars' (the Jackass of all terms) out there than ever before. Why do you think that is? The next generation of men are a little brighter than the last generation. They watched their mothers and absorbed what was going on around them. They know that we rule the word and have hooked on to "Old School" women to learn everything they can from her before she kicks the bucket, so that they will be one step closer to ruling the word themselves.
We need to buck-up, Ladies! We need to protect our sisterly secerets of World Domination!
This was a test, Ladies, from the powers that be, to see if we are strong enough to keep our grip on this world, and we failed miserably!
If one of us will betray the sisterhood on an issue of bra color and it's meaning, it's just a matter of time before someone will give up the secrets of womb dwelling and child birth! With that information in their hands, men will take over the world, ladies, and there will be nothing we will be able to do about it!
DO YOU REALY WANT THAT?
(©2010 RayleneDeschenes)
DISCLAIMER:
This reply is not meant to offend anyone. It is for entertainment only. I have been deleted for less, hence the reason for the disclaimer. LOL!
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