CREATION by Moi!

 The Bible got it wrong, People, and I'm here to set things straight.

 

God made the world in six days. But, on the seventh day He didn't rest as the bible says.

 

He took a look at what he had done and knew something was amiss. Then it hit Him! “I've got it!” He said. With that, he created Moi!  That's right. God then said “She is the Icing on the Cake!" With that done, God, being quite pleased with himself, decided to take a Holy nap.

 

No sooner did He lay His head upon the pillow, He was jolted upright by a group of His most Holy homies all talking amongst themselves, and then to Him.

 

Apparently, my  existence created a glitch in the system. It's true. But once God got His Holy Techies on it, it was just a matter of time before they upgraded the system to accept my awesomeness.

 

It was at that point grass grew, birds sung, paint dried, and rainbows sparkled. God knew He had created a perfectness that was one of a kind. He smiled, gave a long sigh,  and laid back down to continue his Holy snooze. 

 

And all was right with the world!

 

I just thought I'd clear that up for you.... 👑🍷

I Had A Dream

I had a dream.

In that dream, God said, “Raylene, I have given you a gift. The gift I have given you is meant to be shared. So, go now and share your gift with the masses, and Kingdom of Heaven will be yours”.

So I went and shared my gift far and wide. Three teens and a colorful reputation later, I had another dream. In that dream God said, “Raylene, that's not the gift I was talking about”.....NOW He tells me!

I could have been stingy and kept my gift to my self, But no, “Thy will be done” popped into my head and it was on!
(©2010 Raylene Deschenes)

The Light

I saw a light..........

And in the light stood one very tall, good looking guy with great hair and close shaven beard. As we stood there in the deafening silence, I thought "Hmmmm. He's going to hit on me! He IS really cute, and tall, and dark, and handsome! And who isn't turned on by a strong, demanding presence........" when My train of thought was rudely interupted by a small little voice in my head saying "I wouldn't go there if I were you, girl!"

We stood there, He and I, when (after what seemed like an eternity), He said "Let me get right to the point. Raylene, I have given you teenagers becouse you had WAY TOO GOOD of a time back in the day, and now you must pay! Your footloose, fancyfree, indecisive livestyle, though a joy to behold, must now be delt with! So, you will be given teenagers...........Now don't cry! Why do they all cry at the mention of teenagers? I really hate this part......."!

Accepting this fate worse than death, I turned to go, but was stopped in my tracks when his voice boomed, "STOP! There's more!" More? I had THAT good of a time that there is more? Where in the hell was I when I was having that good of a time? Oh! I remember! I had SUCH a good time, some of it tends to be a little foggy - but, now that I think about it, I remember thinking "NOBODY should be having this much fun!" So, ok. I did have a very good time for a very long time. But, being Royalty and all, it is perfectly acceptable to have all time be a good time.............isn't it?

He continued, "Because, you have teenagers you will go straight to Heaven when the time comes, as teenagers are a Hell unto themselves! How much of a hell they will be, is up to them and their friends!". He went on, "You have earned three teenagers, two boys............. and a..............a girl." A GIRL? That's when everything went black.

When I came to, He was standing over me. He had aged 20years in that small moment in time and I thought "Yea, me!" Then everything He had said came flooding back and I gasped "GASP!"

He stood there for a moment, looking into my horrified eyes and said, "You know, Raylene.........I like you. I also know, even with the fate I have put before you, if given the chance you would do it all over again in a heartbeat! You just can't help yourself. It is in your blood, and that's My bad!" At this point I smiled and thanked Him for my 'happy ass' self, as he was right and I would have it no other way! He smiled at me and said "Just a 'heads up', Raylene. It doesn't matter what you taught them up to now, they become brain dead when entering Teendom and stay that way, in some cases, well into their twentys!"

Their twentys? I'm going to have twenty something teens? "EGADS!" I screamed so loud, I thought it was somebody else. But it was just the two of us standing there in the light. Alone. Suspended in time. It was He who broke the silence "So, go now, and reap the rewards of a miss-spent youth, adulthood and seniorhood. And know that I love you!" At that point, I took one last, good breath and decended into a darkness of unimaginable doom, fighting wih all my might to reach the surface for yet another gasp of air before they pull me back down into the underbelly of the beast. And as I settle into the bowels of despair, I beg you to learn from my mistakes............... before you, too............are given.............. 'shudder'..................Teenagers as penance!
(©2009 RayleneDeschenes)