CREATION by Moi!

 The Bible got it wrong, People, and I'm here to set things straight.

 

God made the world in six days. But, on the seventh day He didn't rest as the bible says.

 

He took a look at what he had done and knew something was amiss. Then it hit Him! “I've got it!” He said. With that, he created Moi!  That's right. God then said “She is the Icing on the Cake!" With that done, God, being quite pleased with himself, decided to take a Holy nap.

 

No sooner did He lay His head upon the pillow, He was jolted upright by a group of His most Holy homies all talking amongst themselves, and then to Him.

 

Apparently, my  existence created a glitch in the system. It's true. But once God got His Holy Techies on it, it was just a matter of time before they upgraded the system to accept my awesomeness.

 

It was at that point grass grew, birds sung, paint dried, and rainbows sparkled. God knew He had created a perfectness that was one of a kind. He smiled, gave a long sigh,  and laid back down to continue his Holy snooze. 

 

And all was right with the world!

 

I just thought I'd clear that up for you.... 👑🍷

SCHOOL ZONES

There are two school zones within a few blocks of each other on a street I drive almost every day. They are both elementary schools - one Christian school with a 25 mph speed limit and the other is a private school with a 15 mph speed limit.

My son:  "Mom, you're going too slow. Speed up or you'll get a ticket."
Me:  "This is a school zone and I'm going the required speed limit"
Son:  "No, you're going too slow. You where going faster in the last school zone."
Me:   "That was a Christian elementary school and the limit was 25 mph. This is a Private school and and the speed limit is 15 mph."
Son:  "Why would they do that? Give them different speed limits if they're both elementary schools?"
Me (not being privy to how they set school zones):  "The private school kids aren't as fast as the christian school kids so they have a slower speed limit.
Then me (because I just couldn't resist - and I tried,  God help me, I tried!)  "The Catholic schools don't have a speed limit at all because those kids are really fast.   Those kids are super heroes."

My son just stared at me for what seemed like the longest time, then said:  "Don't talk to me.  Don't talk to me, mom, for the rest of the ride." He then put earphones in, cranked up the tunes he had stored on his phone and that was it until we got to our destination.

Well, I thought it was as good an excuse as any and I only have a couple of years left before their brains are fully developed and I won't be able to mess with their heads anymore. This is my one joy in life - right up there with wine and The Sims 2!
(©2015 RayleneDeschenes)