Cheech (my daughter's dog) and I have been
sitting in the tub waiting for the apocalypse. We have six boxes of
wine for cushioning and substance, my tablet to keep in contact with
those on the "outside" and my cell phone which gets crappy reception in
the tub, but since my ex is the only one who's called, crappy reception
is a perk. So, here I am, Mayans -WHERE'S THE DAMN
APOCALYPSE???!!!!!!!!
To say
I'm rather disappointed in the Mayans is an understatement. I've been
waiting for years for the big bang today and.....nothing. I WAS READY
TO PUT MY HEAD BETWEEN MY LEGS AND KISS MY ASS GOODBYE IN ONE
SPECTACULAR APOCALYPTIC FIREWORK THE LIKES OF WHICH HAVE NEVER BEFORE
BEEN SEEN BY ANY HUMAN EYE........and nothing.
IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU MAYANS THAT I'M UNEMPLOYED, BROKE, HAVING MAJOR ISSUES
WITH TWO OUT OF THREE OF MY CHILDREN, LIVE WITH MY CRANKY, CONTROLLING,
CRABBY "GRAB THE DASHBOARD" WHEN I'M DRIVING MOTHER, AND AM SLAPPED IN
THE FACE WITH A "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" MOMENT ALMOST EVERY DAY
BECAUSE MY EX STOPS BY "TO SEE THE KIDS" (who are all in their 20's
now), BUT YOU HAVE TO SALT THE WOUNDS BY NOT GIVING ME AN
APOCALYPSE?!!!! NOT EVEN A TASTE? YOU CAN'T THROW ME A BONE? YOU DAMN
MAYANS!
I know what happened. Mayan Joe Blow The Calendar
Maker was tweaking big time and got as far as 2012 when his buzz wore
off. It was then he noticed the pain in his wrist from carving all
those rocks, decided it wasn't worth it, retired to Margarita ville and
NOBODY else knew how to carve a rock so that was that and here WE sit
thinking you all were an advanced civilization who aliens visited and
gave a "heads up" to warn those who came later, that we're all going to
bite the big one on the 21st of December, 2012.
I demand to
know who started this rumor, what kind of drugs was THAT GUY on, and why
isn't he sharing with those of us who are sitting in our tubs, disappointed bewildered as to what to do now and trying to remember were
we put our wine glass because it's just plain tacky to guzzle from the
box - not to mention messy as well.
(©2012 RayleneDeschenes)
